I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I need to calm my uterus...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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