Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
sex in a hospital.. check
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
