I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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