Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
