i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
