omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
