I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
