Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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