She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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