so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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