I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Im part way to drunk.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
