butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
