Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
