I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
