last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
