just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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