drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
