What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
