In the future we'll all be gay
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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