rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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