They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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