You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
