Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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