We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
