thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
