talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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