as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
