So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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