In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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