Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
