What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
