Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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