two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
