Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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