I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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