Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Drake has all the answers
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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