And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
