id be glad to
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Two words: blizzard sex
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
