2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
