I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
