So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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