i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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