so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
