WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
not ubering you a puppy
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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