4 words: hood of his car
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
