It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
