Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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