She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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