Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
