Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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