quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
