Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
