Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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